For most of my life, I believed that I was a spiritual person. I was confident, because I was always striving to follow the religious principles that I was taught. But I eventually began to notice that some people used the words "spiritual" and "spirituality" in a sense that was foreign to me. I began to wonder if, perhaps, I was missing something.
Right now I am in the process of reading "You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy" by James Blanchard Cisneros. If this book had come into my possession several years ago, I almost surely would have destroyed it. Since then I have become quite open-minded...willing to question anything that I believe. Even so, had I read it only two years ago I likely would have dismissed it as not being based in "reality".
In the past two years I have read books (on "spirituality", and on "quantum mechanics") that have convinced me that much of what I have always "known" is false...simply my perception.
During the past week, as I read "You Have Chosen to Remember", any time I read something that seems a bit too far "out there", I ask myself, 'Am I trying to reject this idea because it is not possible? Or, am I trying to reject it simply because I have never believed it?' Sometimes I have had to struggle with myself. But, in fact, the book is literally taking me on "A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy".
This morning while reading in Chapter 8 ("Being in the Now") I read a section that especially impressed me. I do not have to "buy into" any of the first seven chapters in order to understand the logic and wisdom of what I read in that section.
Here is that section, verbatim. If it rings true to you (as it did to me), you will probably find that "You Have Chosen to Remember" can forever change your paradigm, by showing you that knowledge, peace of mind, and joy are nothing more than choices.
Being in the Now on the Road
"Have you ever noticed... anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" - George Carlin
The ego has taught us that if someone cuts us off in traffic, we should react with emotions such as annoyance, irritation, anger or even rage. The world considers these emotions to be natural and deserved responses. The world tells us that we have every right to be angry. It feels natural and right to react with anger because that is how we have been trained and what we are now used to. In fact, we often consider what is natural and what we're used to as basically the same thing. Yet, what we are used to and what is natural are usually two completely different things. Any time we react with anger, such a reaction occurs not because it is natural, but because it has become a bad habit. We have learned negative tendencies, have not corrected them and they have become bad habits that we now call our natural behaviors. We have repeated these bad habits over a period of time and they have now become "second nature" or natural tendencies. But many of the reactions we consider natural tendencies have, in truth, nothing to do with our true nature. When we were children, our parents, other family members and friends reacted this way. As a child this type of reaction was often common, first with our parents and family members, then with our peers. As adults, they probably still react this way, and now we have probably joined them in their thinking. At first, such reactions probably did not sit well with us, but as we heard our families react over and over in such a manner, sooner or later we got used to the behavior, and let it be until their behavior became ours.
I remember as a very young child, driving with my mother in Caracas, Venezuela. Sooner or later, someone would cut her off, or something would happen on the road that she simply did not agree with. Her response was typically a negative comment regarding the other driver's skills. I remember hearing my mother say things she would never say outside the car. Needless to say, the first time I really remember arguing with my mother was in the car. She complained about someone's driving and I immediately came to that person's defense and explained to my mother what she could have done to avoid the situation. Let's just say that taking criticism about her driving skills from a seven year old child did not win me any brownie points! On the other hand, she was happy because she thought that it was only a matter of time before I would become a successful defense attorney. So on and on it went. My mother complained, I defended the other drivers, she came back at me telling me why I was wrong, and I offered driving advice on how she might avoid such situations in the future. She would say that I should be defending her and not the other driver whom I did not even know. Anyway, on and on it went, drive after drive, until one day I got so tired of the whole game that I figured it would be best for me to just fall asleep, or just keep my opinions to myself.
The reactions of my mother, which most people consider natural and correct responses, offer people a certain level of comfort. For if it did not offer a certain level of comfort, why would people continue to react this way? Attacking a brother or sister only offers a certain level of comfort because we believe that when we do so, we are released from the negative emotions we ourselves offer. Yet, if we were to look within, we would see that whatever we offer a brother or sister remains with us. If, in a car, we offer anger, that anger, as much as we want to believe that it affects the other driver, affects us more. We think that we experience release and comfort by attacking a brother or sister, but this is only a false release, a false comfort.
I invite you to look within. Does this so-called release truly bring comfort? True comfort manifests itself as the state of peace. Does attacking a brother or sister, regardless of how much we think we are right, offer us true peace? Shouldn't comfort and peace of mind go hand in hand? Do these “comfortable” feelings come from actual comfort, or from habits and illusions of comfort?
The ego would have us believe that if we "give it" to another driver, this action will make us feel better. The ego teaches us that what we give we lose. Thus, if we give a negative emotional response to another driver, this negative emotion will leave us and somehow stay with the other driver, thus releasing us from the response. This, the ego says, will make us feel better and will make the other driver feel worse. Not only that, but the ego also wants us to believe that this negative emotion will somehow stay with the other driver for a long time to come, thus making us believe that we got the upper hand.
The Godself reminds us that what we give - we keep, that what we offer a brother or sister - we gift ourselves. There is no way we can offer a negative emotion without feeling it ourselves. What we offer a brother or sister must first flow through us. There is no such thing as letting another driver "have it" without feeling it in one way or another.
Now try to remember all those times you reacted with anger out of habit. You will probably not have to think too far back. Has this habit ever brought you true peace of mind? And if not, has it ever brought you comfort? So isn't this habit of anger, with which we are now comfortable, really just an illusion of comfort? Haven't we suffered in our cars long enough? Would you like to change your way of reacting? Would you like to know what true comfort feels like? There is a way, my friend, to find peace and comfort on the road.
I used to react with a lack of peace on the road. I admit that even today, I slip every now and then and mentally let a driver have it. But the difference is that I now catch myself being out of peace with myself much quicker, and as I catch myself I correct the situation in my mind and find true comfort and peace.
Living in Caracas, Venezuela presents many opportunities to choose peace on the road. If you haven't been there, imagine Los Angeles with half to a quarter of the available traffic lanes, no real street police enforcing laws and stop lights which, on a good day, are perceived by fellow drivers as yield signs. If it rains, people are better off walking to work, regardless of the distance. This is a city where, if a survey were conducted asking people to find the turn signal in their cars, at least 90 percent would fail!
We have discussed that anger might seem to be a logical, comfortable response - one that we are used to, a habit. We have also discussed that this so-called comfortable response has truly never brought us comfort, and if it hasn't brought us comfort, it definitely hasn't brought us peace. In fact, we have tried it the ego’s way over and over again, and what has it ever really brought us? Are you open to trying a new way? Good, because this has worked for me, and if it has worked for me then it can work for you.
Living in the Now: Four Steps to Choosing Peace on the Road
There are four steps that I have used and still use to obtain peace on the road. They are as follows:
- Learn to differentiate between the spiritual being driving and the action of cutting you off.
- Look at each driver on the road as the child of God and visualize someone you know, trust and love. I visualize Jesus, especially when I need His assistance with those who cut me off or drive recklessly.
- Pray for the safety and protection of every driver who cuts you off or is driving recklessly.
- Be a positive example on the road.
For all we know this person could be a great person who just happened to make an error in judgment while driving. We are always in the right place, at the right time. Thus, this person is offering us a gift, and this gift is the opportunity to remember and practice our perfection through the act of choosing peace on the road. As Plato once said, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
What a wonderful gift it is to be able to choose peace in such a situation. This child of God who has crossed our path is allowing us the opportunity to practice choosing peace. We have been taught the habit of choosing anger, and judging our brother or sister. This is a habit that will probably take time and practice to correct. Therefore, every opportunity that a brother or sister offers us is no more or no less than a beautiful gift. This individual is offering us the practice of choosing peace. There will come a time when we will no longer need to practice choosing peace, for we will be at peace and live in peace. Until that day comes, thank our brothers and sisters for their offerings, participation and assistance.
We, and our brothers and sisters, are the extension of God's love in action. When we see that in our brothers and sisters, we feel it. Every action, reaction and situation is an opportunity to remember this. There will come a day when instead of judging our brothers and sisters, we will thank them. There will come a day when, instead of reacting with anger, we will react with understanding. And there will come a day where, instead of seeing an error, we will see and meet the opportunity. That day is coming, for you have been led to this passage and in your heart you sense its truth. We have tried it our egos’ way long enough. We have tried judging our brothers and sisters. We have tried anger and seen error. Now our hearts remind us that there is another way of looking at this. There is another way of reacting. There is a way to find peace in our brother or sister's action. There is a way to find peace in our reactions. There is a way indeed.
The second step toward choosing peace on the road is to look at each driver as a child of God and visualize someone you know, trust, respect and love. I visualize Jesus driving certain cars on the road, especially the ones that cut me off or drive recklessly. At first, you might feel a little strange doing this but this might assist you in getting past the illusion that the spiritual being who just cut you off is a stranger. For how could you ever truly be mad at God’s child? There is nothing strange about a child of God, for you and he are one. You are a child of God; the stranger is a child of God. Both of you are part of the extension of God's love in action. Both of you have chosen this path, a path that will allow each of you to choose heaven or hell, peace or anxiety, forgiveness or judgment. Forgive his error and you will be released. Choose not to forgive, and you will add the weight of judgment to your heart.
To me, Jesus was and is a great teacher. He is the definition of love in action. In my heart, I know that He would want me to feel the same way about all my brothers and sisters. He would want me to see His perfection in everyone. He would want me to forgive and love my brothers and sisters no matter what, and to treat all my brothers and sisters as I would treat Him, and so I do. To me, Jesus is a child of God, and we are children of God. There is no difference between any of us, except for the fact that Jesus has remembered his perfection and we are in the process of remembering ours.
See who you will in the other car, but know this: that person is a mirror image of you. There is nothing that you wish for that person that you do not experience yourself. If you are angry with him, you will feel it within yourself. If you forgive, understand and have compassion for him, you will also feel that within. There is nothing you do to another that you don't do to yourself. You know this to be true because you have felt your own anger. Regardless of where and to whom you distribute it, you have felt its consequences.
The next time you become angry with another driver, feel what that does to you, not only to your outer self but also to your inner self. Feel the heavy fog roll through your heart, feel its denseness. Feel the tension in your body, the anxiety. Then listen to the sadness in your soul. Hear it for the first time asking you this one simple question: Why would anyone in their right mind do something like this to themselves over and over again? Ask yourself: "What am I doing to myself? What am I accomplishing?" Then, as the fog dissipates and the light begins to shine through, say this: "I simply choose not to do this to myself any longer! There is another way I can react. I will now choose to see God's child in my brother and sister!"
The third step toward choosing peace on the road is to pray for every driver who cuts you off or is driving recklessly. Replace the angry reaction that has brought you nothing but pain and sadness - with a prayer. Let that prayer come directly from your heart. Reach into your heart and pray that the individual gets home safely, that he or she has a great day, and that his or her kids and family are showered with love. With all your soul, pray for God to send angels to escort him or her home. Pray that they touch his or her heart so he or she might think of others and slow down. Pray that anything that is bothering him or her will be washed away through God's mercy. Do this for him or her and you will be set free. You will feel all that you have asked for them. What you will receive in return is a peace that will fill your drive anywhere you go.
The fourth step toward choosing peace on the road is to be a positive example for those on the road. It feels good and peaceful being a positive example, whether in life or on the road - there is no difference.
